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Personal Development, by Kristi Anier, Customer Happiness Manager MindvalleyAcademy.com

Personal development is a fascinating and fun journey… most of the time.
Sometimes you become aware of aspects of yourself that you don’t like. These are usually the things that need the most attention. If you find yourself denying or dismissing some part of you that you KNOW needs changing but you’re resisting it, it may help to read some personal development quotes to keep you motivated.

After all, the work you put into yourself is for your benefit!

Suggestion: every day, choose one quote to meditate on. Put yourself in the author’s shoes and see things from their point of view, especially if you don’t understand or agree with the quote. What new awareness can the quote spark in you?

1. “When you want something,all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”- Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

2. “As soon as you stop making everyone else responsible for your happiness, the happier you’ll be.” – Nina Guilbeau

3. “The word ‘listen’ has the same letters as the word ‘silent’” – Alfred Brendel

4. “It is more Important to be of pure intention than of perfect action.” – Ilyas Kassam

5. “Even in the most peaceful surroundings, the angry heart finds quarrel. Even in the most quarrelsome surroundings, the grateful heart finds peace. – Doe Zantamata

6. “Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.” – Marcus Aurelius

7. “Life was meant to be lived, and curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

8. “If there is no wind, row.” – Latin proverb

9. “You are the way you are because that’s the way you want to be. If you really wanted to be different, you would be in the process of changing right now.” – Fred Smith

10. “The mind maketh good or ill, wretch or happy, rich or poor.” – Edmund Spenser

11. “What a folly the thought of throwing away life at once, and yet have no regard to throwing it away by parcels and piecemeal.” – John Hove

12. “People do not attract that which they want, but that which they are.” – James Allen

13. “What you subconsciously want, you will get. And what you subconsciously do not want, you will avoid.” – Bo Sanchez

14. “Things do not change; we change.” – Henry David Thoreau

15. “Meditation is the soul’s perspective glass. – Owen Feltham

16. “What comes, is called.” – Ki Longfellow

17. “All things are possible to him who believes.” [Mark 9:23]

18. “The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.” – E.E. Cummings

19. “The things that we love tell us what we are.” – St. Thomas Aquinas

20. “Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.” – Don Marquis

21. “When you plant a seed of love, it is you that blossoms.” – Ma Jaya Sati Bhagavati

22. “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence. – Helen Keller

23. “To experience peace does not mean that your life is always blissful. It means that you are capable of tapping into a blissful state of mind amidst the normal chaos of a hectic life.” – Jill Bolte Taylor

24. “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” – Marcus Aurelius

25. “To love what you do and feel that it matters – how could anything be more fun?” – Katherine Graham

26. “Learn how to fail intelligently, for failing is one of the greatest arts in the world.” – Charles Kettering

27. “Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.” – Margaret Young

28. “I’ve never been poor, only broke. Being poor is a frame of mind. Being broke is a temporary condition.” – Mike Todd

29. “Have you ever noticed that when there is a problem, you are always there? The problem is yours – both in perception and in responsibility. Clear the beliefs in you that see it as a problem, and the problem disappears!” – Dr. Hew Len

30. “Don’t look where you fell. Look where you slipped.” – Unknown

31. “The secret to my success is that I bit off more than I could chew and I chewed as fast as I could.” – Paul Hogan

32. “When we give ourselves permission to fail, we at the same time give ourselves permission to excel.” – Eloise Ristad

33. “If it’s still in your mind, it’s worth taking the risk.” – Paulo Coelho

34. “The bolder the action, the greater the genius, magic and power that is likely to flow from it.” – Robert Ringer

35. “An idea not coupled with action will never get any bigger than the brain cell it occupies.” – Arnold Glasgow

36. “You either move toward something you love or away from something you fear. The first expands, the second constricts.” – Tom Crum

37. “Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.” – Raymond Lindquist

38. “Discontent is the first necessity of progress.” – Thomas Edison

39. “You will become as small as your controlling desire, as great as your dominant aspiration.” – James Allen

40. “You can’t cross a sea by merely staring into the water.” – Rabindranath Tagore

>>> Click here to read the article on our blog

Use these personal development quotes and the personal development tools available to you within the Silva Method to help you on your path of personal growth. Get inspired by the wise words of others. And if something doesn’t resonate with you, put yourself in the author’s shoes and try to see things from his or her perspective. You just never know what a quote can spark within you!

MindvalleyAcademy.com

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7 ‘Healthy’ Relationship Myths That Need To Be Busted Immediately, By Perrie Samotin

The concept of a healthy relationship can definitely be subjective—some couples believe heavily in the traditional trajectory of dating, engagement, marriage, and kids, while others find that so-called “norms” don’t necessarily suit them. Whatever the case, there are certain ideologies that all happy couples share—regardless of how they approach life’s Big Stuff—that includes mutual respect, a sense of fun, and shared values.

However, there are also plenty of false notions about what makes a healthy relationship that aren’t even remotely true, and can create unrealistic expectations. Here, we’ve broken down 7 healthy relationship myths that need to be busted, stat.

Myth #1: People in a healthy relationship never fight. False! Everyone in happy relationships find themselves embroiled in spats now and again, which is normal and healthy because it means you’re speaking up, voicing your opinion, and trying to resolve things that irk you. However, if you find yourself in daily screaming matches or knee-deep in jealousy, accusations, or negativity, it may be time to reassess your seemingly healthy relationship.

A good means of measurement? Research has shown that for every argument or unpleasant confrontation, you should experience four to five feel-good encounters.

Myth #2: People in a healthy relationship have to share all the same interests.
While it’s fantastic to share some interests, most healthy relationships flourish when each party has things to enjoy that their partner might not. Not only does this provide necessary time apart, but it also opens the door for each of you to potentially teach the other about things you’re into. If you’re feeling like you and your partner really don’t share any commonalities, try choosing one thing to unequivocally do together—a cooking class, weekly trips to a museum, bike riding on Sundays, etc.

Myth #3: People in a healthy relationship have sex constantly (and it’s always amazing!)
Laughing yet? This myth can definitely be busted, as most people in healthy relationships aren’t jumping into bed every single chance they get. In fact, the frequency of sex should be less of a concern as the quality. Of course, if you’re really not happy about the way things are going in the bedroom, talk about it—people in healthy relationships aren’t mind-readers, either.

Myth #4: People in a healthy relationship have to adore each other’s families and friends. Nope, but people in solid relationships do treat certain friends or family members they may not love with respect. Nobody said you have to adore your boyfriend’s cousins, but that doesn’t give you a pass to be nasty, bratty, or snarky when you’re with them. If something legitimately bothers you (his mom making cracks about your weight/your job/your hair, or his friends always ignoring you), talk openly to your partner about the problem, instead of turning on the chill factor whenever the person in question comes around.

Myth #5: People in a healthy relationship have to follow a typical life trajectory. We all know that, typically, the pattern goes: dating, moving in, getting engaged, getting married, having a kid, buying a home, having another kid, and so on. While that’s obviously wonderful, not every happy couple follows that life path. In fact, if portions of that trajectory don’t suit you, your only going to be miserable in the long run. The trick is to agree with your partner on what works for both of you, and going from there.

Myth #6: People in a healthy relationship have to love living together all the time.
If you do decide to live together, that doesn’t quite mean it’s all sunshine and roses 24/7. For folks who live in cities, cohabitation can be cost-effective, but also slightly claustrophobic at times. Compromises must be made, space must be shared, and responsibilities must be attended to. It’s definitely an adjustment that’s often worth it, but that doesn’t mean you’ll never miss being able to throw your stuff wherever you want, blast your music as late as you choose, or decorate solely according to your own taste.

      

                                    

                                     

                                      

                                     

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

 The concept of a healthy relationship can definitely be subjective—some couples believe heavily in the traditional trajectory of dating, engagement, marriage, and kids, while others find that so-called “norms” don’t necessarily suit them. Whatever the case, there are certain ideologies that all happy couples share—regardless of how they approach life’s Big Stuff—that includes mutual respect, a sense of fun, and shared values.

However, there are also plenty of false notions about what makes a healthy relationship that aren’t even remotely true, and can create unrealistic expectations. Here, we’ve broken down 7 healthy relationship myths that need to be busted, stat.

Myth #1: People in a healthy relationship never fight. False! Everyone in happy relationships find themselves embroiled in spats now and again, which is normal and healthy because it means you’re speaking up, voicing your opinion, and trying to resolve things that irk you. However, if you find yourself in daily screaming matches or knee-deep in jealousy, accusations, or negativity, it may be time to reassess your seemingly healthy relationship.

A good means of measurement? Research has shown that for every argument or unpleasant confrontation, you should experience four to five feel-good encounters.

Myth #2: People in a healthy relationship have to share all the same interests. While it’s fantastic to share some interests, most healthy relationships flourish when each party has things to enjoy that their partner might not. Not only does this provide necessary time apart, but it also opens the door for each of you to potentially teach the other about things you’re into. If you’re feeling like you and your partner really don’t share any commonalities, try choosing one thing to unequivocally do together—a cooking class, weekly trips to a museum, bike riding on Sundays, etc.

Myth #3: People in a healthy relationship have sex constantly (and it’s always amazing!) Laughing yet? This myth can definitely be busted, as most people in healthy relationships aren’t jumping into bed every single chance they get. In fact, the frequency of sex should be less of a concern as the quality. Of course, if you’re really not happy about the way things are going in the bedroom, talk about it—people in healthy relationships aren’t mind-readers, either.

Myth #4: People in a healthy relationship have to adore each other’s families and friends. Nope, but people in solid relationships do treat certain friends or family members they may not love with respect. Nobody said you have to adore your boyfriend’s cousins, but that doesn’t give you a pass to be nasty, bratty, or snarky when you’re with them. If something legitimately bothers you (his mom making cracks about your weight/your job/your hair, or his friends always ignoring you), talk openly to your partner about the problem, instead of turning on the chill factor whenever the person in question comes around.

Myth #5: People in a healthy relationship have to follow a typical life trajectory. We all know that, typically, the pattern goes: dating, moving in, getting engaged, getting married, having a kid, buying a home, having another kid, and so on. While that’s obviously wonderful, not every happy couple follows that life path. In fact, if portions of that trajectory don’t suit you, your only going to be miserable in the long run. The trick is to agree with your partner on what works for both of you, and going from there.

Myth #6: People in a healthy relationship have to love living together all the time. If you do decide to live together, that doesn’t quite mean it’s all sunshine and roses 24/7. For folks who live in cities, cohabitation can be cost-effective, but also slightly claustrophobic at times. Compromises must be made, space must be shared, and responsibilities must be attended to. It’s definitely an adjustment that’s often worth it, but that doesn’t mean you’ll never miss being able to throw your stuff wherever you want, blast your music as late as you choose, or decorate solely according to your own tastes.

Myth #7: People in a healthy relationship never have to work at it. This is probably the biggest myth of all, as a good relationship takes a lot of work, even if you get along on the day-to-day. When we say work, however, we’re talking about compromising, being less stubborn, and working on things you know you need to change. We’re not talking about changing who you are completely for another person, constantly apologizing for yourself, or putting up with abundant jealousy, anger, or negativity.

The trick is figuring out what, ultimately, will make you  better as an individual and as a couple, as you obviously don’t want to work on something that makes you miserable way more often then it makes you happy.

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Support Groups for Relationship Issues, Support, Self-Improvement, and Healthy Living (from the Gazette)

Most communities have support/self-help groups on various topics. These informal meetings can be invaluable resources and extensions of services that are provided by health and mental health professionals. This is also a way for interns to obtain their required clinical hours towards licensure…by facilitating these types of psycho-educational groups.

 

For a full list of upcoming health events visit www.gazettenet.com/living/health/

CODEPENDENCE — A Codependence Anonymous meeting for adults recovering from codependence and learning to develop healthy relationships meets every Sunday night, 7 to 8:30 p.m., Immanuel Lutheran Church, 867 N. Pleasant St., Amherst.

 

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Happy New Year! Erin A. Alexander, LPC

new year

 

Today is a day of reflection…deeper reflection than my usual goal-setting, solution-focused reflecting. I feel pretty confident that whatever goals I set, they will be accomplished. I don’t get angry with myself anymore, or feel guilty when I don’t complete a goal completely. I know that I at least had the good intentions and drive to get the goals accomplished. I made the honest effort.

 

Today’s reflections are more about being appreciative for all of the wonderful things that have taken place over the year. I do believe that when you have a goal-oriented, solution-focused attitude, you are aligning yourself with blessings. In other words, you are putting yourself in the position for good things to happen when you show by your actions that you want something. This year, the primary accomplishment was going outside of my introverted comfort zone, and making myself more “public”. By taking the initiative with facilitating presentations all over San Antonio, and by engaging in more networking events, I have helped my career. I have also had the privilege of meeting some genuinely kind, down-to-earth people. I am very grateful that these individuals are now part of my life.

 

I am also grateful that I have been able to use my more creative talents more this year, like cooking and writing. I am grateful that I am healthy mentally and physically. I appreciate all of the friend/family support and encouragement.

 

As 2014 approaches, there are new challenges and goals, new things for which I will want to express gratitude. I look forward to them!  May you all have a continued pleasant holiday and a wonderful, safe, productive New Year! Erin

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Transition to the Holiday Week

Greetings to everyone:

Today is the last day I will be in the office and/or available to respond to any work-related emails/messages. I have clients scheduled from 1pm to 6pm then I am done for the week. My auto-reply will go on early tomorrow morning. (erin.brighterfuture4u@gmail.com)

Please note that our address will change by the time you return for your next appointment. We will be in the same complex, just in building III, suite 200. Phone numbers are the same.

Also note that I can do video counseling. I have been qualified by Breakthrough Behavioral Health so that it is H.I.P.A.A. compliant. Go to their site to schedule an appointment. They handle all of the scheduling and billing with your insurance company.

I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe holiday! I will reply to messages for the rest of today, then again on Monday. Take care, Erin

Erin A. Alexander, LPC-S

Brighter Future E-Counseling

Mailing/Billing address: 7113 San Pedro Ave. #266, San Antonio, TX 78216

NEW Physical address: 5825 Callaghan Rd. #200 Summit III bldg San Antonio, TX 78228
Phone 210-521-4833 Fax (210)521-8561

https://healthyrelationships2013.wordpress.com

http://lpcsupervision.wordpress.com/

My profile: http://alexander.breakthrough.com (I can do VIDEO counseling here)

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10 Signs You’re In A Healthy Relationship, by Scott Christ

Healthy couples naturally spend a lot of time together. But they also recognize the importance of doing things separately. Personal space is important in any relationship. We all need time to explore, reflect, and express ourselves individually.

Relationships are tricky. And there are no shortage of unhealthy ones out there. Check out the cover of any gossip magazine if you want proof of that.

All relationships, however, are filled with ups, downs, and in-betweens. So how do you know you’re in a healthy relationship? Find out here.

1. You give each other personal space.

Healthy couples naturally spend a lot of time together. But they also recognize the importance of doing things separately. Personal space is important in any relationship. We all need time to explore, reflect, and express ourselves individually.

2. You trust each other.

Great relationships are built on a foundation of trust. Think about a bad relationship you or a friend has been in. Chances are, there were trust issues. Trusting your partner is vital, and it takes time to build. And this just happen to coincide with our next sign you’re in a healthy relationship:

3. You don’t rush milestones.

Couples in healthy relationships recognize that the best things in life are worth waiting for. That’s why they don’t rush important life milestones. They savor every moment of building a life together and take the time to celebrate the important occasions in life.

4. You can talk about anything.

Healthy couples tell each other everything. Speaking your mind can be incredibly difficult at times, but people in healthy relationships don’t hold back–even when the truth hurts.

5. You inspire each other to be better.

Healthy relationships are also built on mutual motivation and inspiration. Your partner should inspire you to be your best self, to face difficult challenges, and to change the world. Those in unhealthy relationships are content with mediocrity.

6. You appreciate the little things.

Life’s most beautiful moments often sneak up on us and catch us off-guard. Healthy couples recognize and appreciate these moments when they occur. They know the small, seemingly insignificant moments are what makes life worth sharing.

7. You accept each other for who you are.

People in healthy relationships accept each other, flaws and all. This doesn’t mean you should encourage your significant other to accept mediocrity. It does, however, mean you should accept who your partner chooses to be. Remember, there are cracks in everything, but that’s how the light gets in.

8. You hold each other up during tough times.

Life will throw you lemons every now and then. It’s inevitable. A tell-tale sign of a healthy relationship is how you support each other during these trying times. Don’t be afraid to cry together and experience pain and suffering. Tragic events often take our breath away and make us feel like the world around us is caving in. But the fact that you’re still here means you have a 100 percent success rate with overcoming tough times.

9. You’re able to let go of the past.

People in healthy relationships know that failure and mistakes are nothing but pathways to attainment. They don’t let past stumbles dictate their current relationship. We can be hurtful creatures at times. But as long as we use these moments to grow and learn, our relationships can become stronger. This leads into our final sign you’re in a healthy relationship:

10. Your relationshiphas gotten stronger over time.

The ultimate sign of a relationship that’s sustainable for the long-term is that it slowly builds, developing deeper roots with each passing year. There are lots of things that help make this happen (see above). I think most importantly, people in healthy relationships take the time to say (and mean) the following words often:
1.I love you.
2.Thank you.
3.I’m sorry.

I’ll leave you to ponder this quote from the late, great David Foster Wallace.

The really important kind of freedom involves attention and awareness and discipline, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them over and over in myriad petty, unsexy ways every day.

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Carolyn Hax: A single woman wants to keep the nosy questions at bay during weddings

I was at a wedding recently where family members kept coming up to me and asking me why I wasn’t married and if I had a boyfriend. I’m a 34-year-old single woman and these relatives hadn’t seen me in a few years. I was really uncomfortable with the incessant questioning.

What is a good response when people ask intrusive questions regarding your relationship status? I am really still angry at how rude and insensitive the relatives were and I don’t really plan to go to another family wedding because of this. Am I being too sensitive/overreacting? I see no excuse — I have never gone up to a married couple and asked them why they didn’t have children or something similar, so I don’t see how this behavior is excusable and why I should have to put up with it.

Single at a Wedding

It isn’t excusable and you shouldn’t put up with it, but I hope you won’t keep yourself from occasions you might otherwise enjoy because of it. These people exist whether you stay home or not; think carefully before you hand them any controls over your life.

The truth gives you a range of options when you’re faced with intrusive questions. Take advantage of that from now on whenever people start prying: “You’re the 14th person to ask me that today,” for example, is an important non-answer that gives people a glimpse of the cumulative effect of what they assume is a cute or innocent query. An incredulous, “People still ask that?” gets to the truth of how dated this whole line of questioning is. “I was quizzed so mercilessly on my romantic life at the last wedding that I almost didn’t come to this one” is another truth in need of airing. Then there’s always the Miss Manners staple, “Why do you ask?”

You are under no obligation to be the one who tells any of these truths, and staying home is your prerogative. However, even if staying home is exactly what you want and choose to do, the question will still probably find you anyway, so I suggest being prepared.

Your outrage is completely justified. Since it’s clearly no fun for you to continue harboring it, though, I think you will feel better if you prepare yourself to neutralize future interrogations. That sense of mastery can be the little bit of good that comes from this frustrating experience.

Re: Single:

About the Miss Manners staple, “Why do you ask?”: Lamentably, pushy folks don’t allow themselves to be shut up with gentle responses, and keep on pressing. How do you recommend people deal with those who won’t take the hint to let things go?

Anonymous

“Aren’t you . . .” sweet/funny/curious/determined/[your not-unkind word here], with a smile, and an “Excuse me, I need to rescue a friend.” They don’t have to know that, in this instance, you’re your own friend.

In other words, deflect and exit. You really truly absolutely don’t need to stand there and take it.

Write to Carolyn Hax, Style, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071, or tellme@washpost.com. Sign up for Carolyn Hax’s column, delivered to your inbox early each morning, at http://bit.ly/haxpost.

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The Best Way to Tell if Your Relationship Will Last, by Casey Gueren

Shutterstock.com
Getting cold feet before your wedding is usually just brushed off as nerves, but new research suggests it might be a really bad sign. When it comes to newlyweds, gut feelings predict future relationship happiness better than self-reported feelings, according to a new study published in the journal Science.

Researchers from Florida State University recruited 135 couples who had been married for less than six months, then surveyed them twice a year for four years. First, they asked the individuals to report on their relationship satisfaction and any problems they were having. Then, they measured their gut-level feelings about their bond by flashing a photo of their spouse on a computer screen, followed by a positive or negative word (like “awesome” or “terrible”). The researchers measured their reaction time as they pressed a button indicating whether the word they saw was positive or negative.

So what does all that button pressing have do with your bond? Previous research has found that our gut-level attitudes make it easier to identify similar gut feelings—for instance, when you’re already anxious, you’re quick to respond to other stressful cues. In this task, if you have good vibes about your spouse, seeing their picture will make you identify the positive words faster. But if you have negative feelings toward them, you’ll be better equipped to identify the negative words quickly.

Here’s where it gets interesting: When they followed up with the couples down the line, their self-reported attitudes as newlyweds were totally unrelated to any changes in marital satisfaction. But the people who showed negative or meh gut feelings during the lab test reported the most marital dissatisfaction four years later.

So can a computer task really tell you if you’re headed for happily ever after? Who knows for sure. But the research suggests that you should tune in to your gut when it comes to your relationships—that big ball of stress in your belly may be trying to tell you something about your bond.

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A counselor’s perspective on what a healthy relationship feels like

A counselor’s perspective on what a healthy relationship feels like

 

Many unhappy clients I have met had no real understanding of how a healthy relationship should make them feel. It’s almost like learning how to create a painting without having a clear idea of what the finished painting should look like, and this, of course, doesn’t work very well!

I write about relationships; but I am not writing only about heterosexual married couples. GLBT couples, monogamous couples, polyamorous triads, and even open relationship arrangements can all be perfectly healthy for everyone involved.  All of these relationships will have key ingredients in common.

  1. Healthy relationships are composed of healthy individuals. Each person has a clear idea of his/her values, ambitions, and has a clear idea of the life he or she wants to lead.  A healthy individual takes time to take care of Self…via hobbies, exercise, nutrition, spiritual traditions, etc. He or she also takes responsibility for all facets of his or her life.
  2. At the very core, a healthy relationship is a pact between two healthy people to travel through life together, to confront challenges together, and to encourage each individual to grow to full self-actualization.  These couples understand that the other person will change over time, and will find joy in discovering change and growth in each other.
  3. Every interaction is based on trust and respect, and positive regard for oneself and the other person. Such a relationship will not experience paranoia or jealousy.  The privacy of each person is valued; secretly searching through emails, cell phones, or Facebook accounts shows fear, insecurity, or codependence.
  4. Your partner is your best friend and closest confidant. The bulk of your emotional support should come from your partner. If issues come up, deal with it with your partner. Infidelity happens when one partner replaces emotional support from his or her spouse to the emotional support of someone else (and sex usually follows).  Notice, however, that I stated that most of your emotional support comes from your partner; not all of it. A healthy relationship also leaves plenty of room for family and friends and awesome coworkers and whoever else you encounter.
  5. Guard the authenticity of your relationship every day. Do not let weeks go by without some form of quality time or connection. If there is an unspoken uneasiness between you, you must be brave enough to discuss it. Many unhealthy relationships I have encountered simply wallow for years in miserable apathy. I suppose that staying with the miserable known can seem preferable to facing the scary unknown, but trust me….being a happy single person is FAR preferable to being miserably together. And who knows…you may find you prefer being single!

 

 

So to sum it up, a healthy relationship feels SECURE. There is no second-guessing. Neither partner feels like he or she must perform or somehow earn the other person’s love (This is a major red flag….get thee to counseling). Spending time with your partner emotionally rejuvenates you, refreshes you. You can talk about anything under the sun and explore controversial topics together (most of your conversations should not center on household issues like bills or chores. That’s how the “roommate” feeling is created).

There is lots of laughter, peaceful silences, a balance of closeness and independent space, and each person is free to express his or her thoughts, desires, joys, and fears without fear of rejection or judgment. There are lots of sexual and nonsexual touches. Your home together is warm, inviting, and reflects both of your personalities. You talk about the future and plan it together.  You have adventures together, and can laugh about past mistakes.